The Life of A Postulant

My name is Steven and I am one of two postulants in our house of formation. A postulant is a person in their first six months (give or take) of being in the Society of St. Francis. I thought I would share some reflections on my experiences as a “newbee” here.

I live with nine other guys in a house that is composed of three Victorian flats one on top of the other. We are located on Dolores Street in the Mission District of SF. We are a diverse group in terms of age and backgrounds. The oldest is 79 and the youngest is in his early 30s. We have a retired pediatric geneticist, a former professor of History from de Paul Univ. in Chicago, a biblical scholar from Japan, a Jungian analyst and others. We each have our own rooms but share bathrooms.

Our schedule:

Mon. to Thursday: morning prayer and community meeting @ 7am, evening prayer, mass and dinner beginning @ 6pm

Friday: morning prayer @ 7 am and the rest of the day until Sat. evening- time to ourselves

Saturday: evening prayer, mass and dinner beginning @ 6 and includes community guests (whoever shows is welcome).

Wednesday night is soup dinner and “Feelings” group where we check in with each other at a deeper level than morning meeting. Postulants (those of us in our 1st 3 months) and novices (those in month 4 to 3rd year) have classes on Tuesday mornings, Thursday afternoons and Friday mornings. These consist of discussions on Franciscan spirituality, Church traditions, the vows, prayer, social ministry, and more. The postulants also have an extra class once a week on St. Francis and the foundations of Franciscanism with Br. Donald Luke, our senior novice. Each brother has their own set of other activities such as classes, work, volunteer activities, etc. We share cleaning and cooking duties. We are also each supposed to become involved in an Episcopal Church in the City.

My fellow postulant, Masao and I work two days a week in feeding programs for the homeless. We will begin an intensive 10 week volunteer chaplaincy training program at the beginning of June. I am also looking at volunteering with San Francisco Unified to work with limited English learners. Oh yeah, we are expected to make time for individual prayer and meditation.

Here’s something I wrote to friends and family at the very beginning of my postulancy: “I have only been here 16 days but it feels a lot longer. It’s not because it is so painful. It is a wonderful experience, but sooo much is new and life altering that the days seem long. If I walk in the Light, Life and Love that brought me here and remember to take one minute at a time and remember that perfectionism kills spirituality, I think I have a very good chance of making this a life commitment.”

We just ended our Lenten journey with Holy Week and Easter. This is a time of reflection on the spiritual meaning of life and of embracing new life. I certainly feel I am embracing new life and I feel much more grounded than I did in those first few days. Cooking is definitely not my interest or forte but I have had to cook several times (even volunteered once!) and the brothers are still alive. I led prayer for a whole week and found myself embracing the sometimes frustrating complexity of how we do communal prayer. I have reorganized several closets and prayer materials and have made numerous suggestions (surely not a surprise to those who know me!) about how to better systemetize, categorize and order almost everything in the house. I am learning much about community living by reminding myself that I am not the only one who has definite ideas about how things should run. I have also been able to use my graphics/computer skills to produce materials for the community. I am also now an unofficial bread baker . Br. Jacob is the real bread baker (in my mind) as he produces superb breads from scratch! But I just love my Oster bread machine and I have become quite creative with ingredients. Ever try adding “Chinese Five Spices” into your baked goods?

On a more serious note, I am learning and growing a great deal each day. This is an amazing experience for this 51 year old. I realize more and more each day how much of life there is still in me and I am grateful for this opportunity to follow a long cherished dream.

We were assigned to visit as many Episcopal parishes as we could in the City in order to choose one to become active in. I thought I would join a large progressive parish in Diamond Heights but visited a struggling predominately African American parish (St. Cyprian's) a few weeks ago and decided that I would make that my home base for Sunday Mass and parochial involvement. We were only eight plus the two clerics for Holy Thursday and it was a moving experience. The stripping of the altar and church which is usually a ceremonial representation of Christ’s embracing of his death ended up with me on a ladder with a pair of pliers removing the staples that had held up the palm branches from palm Sunday. Good Friday was marked with a solemn, simple service with our sisters in our own chapel in the house followed by quiet time for prayer and reflection. Tonight will be attendance at our individual parishes for Easter Vigil. Tomorrow morning we celebrate sunrise service at 5:45 am with our sisters followed by breakfast and then off to our individual parishes for regular Easter Sunday services. We have a woman being baptized on Sunday morning and I am looking forward to being part of that. We balance community life with active involvement in the wider community in ministries and parish involvement of our own choosing.

www.saintcyprianssf.org

I, unlike most of my brothers, am a native to the Bay Area and it has been a challenge to maintain connection to friends and family who live so close and want to be a part of this new experience and being sure to make clear that my first priorities lie with this community. Three of the brothers will be moving to New York in the Summer and I will be taking on some of their duties. One of them is the shopping at Costco. Those who know me can tell you that this is my favorite place to spend time! (He says very sarcastically!). But it is becoming clearer day by day that I do what I am asked “cheerfully” as it says in our Principles. (These are a set of 31 guiding standards by which we lead our lives individually and communally as Franciscans.) I did manage to smile through most of my first Costco adventure. Br. Donald Luke is a very patient teacher. We ended up with two huge shopping carts at a total cost of $690. That’s food for ten of us for a month. I will also soon be put on the car insurance so I can do the shuttle work that sometimes is necessary in a community like ours.

Our car is something to behold. It is a puce green 1990(?) Nissan Sentra that is in dire need of a complete makeover. We rent a parking space and getting in and out of it is a lesson in patience and driving expertise. I had heard about the nightmares of getting in and out and the amount of money spent on replacing side mirrors and thought it would be a piece of cake for someone like me with 35 years driving experience. I got the car out fine but when I returned it to it’s narrow berth, I left long white streaks down the side of the car where I scraped the cement pillar. As you can see, I am learning a lot about humility!

On a more serious note, I am learning and growing a great deal each day. This is an amazing experience for this 51 year old. I realize more and more each day how much of life there is still in me and I am grateful for this opportunity to follow a long cherished dream.

I will be received as a novice on May 21st at our chapter ( a yearly meeting where all the brothers and sisters come together for retreat, business and fun for a week). Being received is also called "Clothing" as my fellow postulant, Masao, and I will receive the habit and change our names as symbols of taking on a new life in the Society of St. Francis. I have chosen the name Vincent Damian. I would just be Vincent but we are not allowed to have the same name as anyone else in the order and there is a Vincent in England. Vincent is for St. Vincent de Paul, my patron since I was a child and Damian for the cross of San Damiano in Assisi where St. Francis had his conversion experience. Damian is also for Damien of Molokai who became a leper working with the lepers of Hawaii. The name seems appropriate to the call I feel to work with the marginalized of our world and my own sense of being the wonded healer. Some of you have asked if you could be present for this special event but only my parents and my spiritual director are allowed to attend. I will be thinking of you and ask your prayers as I seek to fulfill this daunting call.

Enough for now. Sorry for the generic nature of this note, but I did want to let you know what’s up with me. I wish each one of you a springtime of hope, peace and joy; Love,Peace and all goodness.

“There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.”– A.J. Muste.